What’s the difference between a piano and a fish
One is an inanimate object used for musical purposes while the other is a water inhabiting vertebrate
you can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish
Reblog if you find calling people/strangers on the phone stressful
My mom doesn’t understand why I can’t just call to order pizza or ask if a video game store has a game. I want to show her this, so if you at all get nervous about calling strangers on the phone, please reblog this.
I'm shopping for Avengers bedsheets at Target for my dorm. There's 2 left, I grab one, and so does a little boy with his mom.
Me to boy: Wow, we got lucky! The last two, just for us!
Little Boy: I know! *Then he starts staring in awe at the Avengers*
Boy's Mom: Are you buying those for your little brother?"
Me: No, it's for me, for college.
Mom *looking at me weird*: But these bedsheets are for little boys. It's really not appropriate for a young woman, especially a college student.
Me: Wait, so it's "appropriate" for little boys to sleep on top of hot grown men in spandex, but it's weird when a college girl does it?
Mom:
Mom:
Mom:
Me: Have a nice day, ma'am. And rock those Avengers bedsheets, little man!
D̜̪͎̏ͭ́͜Ĭ̴͍̅͝D̴̬̯̎ͪ̿ͧ͋ͩ ̵̡̫̭͇̼͈̰̊ͧ̏ͬ̊̆̔ͅY̨̪̻̫̣̒̓͟O̗̞͚͕̞͋̈̏ͫ̒ͫ͠͞U̢̫̲͈̫̙̣̺ͣͨ̋̓̔́͞ ̭͖͚̗̎̉̿̀̚͡Ç̱͖̃̎ͣ̉̓U̸̢̦͎͎̝ͩ̑̆͌ͮͫ͛͗T̺̬̹͇̳̔ͮ̄̓ͭͧ͋ͯ̀ ̷̢̛̻͈̬̲̦̀̔̅ͣͥ̌̀Dͦͬ͏̨̖̩O͕͎̝̣̰̟ͥ͋ͩ͌ͣ̕͟W̭̳̦͓͓͇̝ͯͬ̌͢Ņ͖͕͕͎͖̠̗̃̒̂̔́ ̸̲̫̘̫̜̣͎̈ͣͧ̎̒ͭͣ͟Ţ̦̝͖̪͎̘͔͑̑̈͒̀ͫH̡͙̖͍͛̎̎̓ͧͩ̔Iͯ̌͂̾͌͂͏̷̜̬͎͕Ş̧̘͈̻̃ͭͫ͘ ̺̘̝̩̩ͯ́ͅT͙̱͓̖̪ͮͯͭ̔͑̚͜ͅR̦̬͍̫̬̺̜̖̳͗̈́ͮ͢͡Ĕ҉̤̟̞̱̠̜̭̯͘Ȅ̴̖̺̼͇̞͙̗̗ͩͨͩ̓̋̎?̵̜̫̜͇̩̪͓̙͎ͧͨ̈́̓͋
fUCKING HELL
daughter please stop being so quirky xDD it’s a school night
But M00oOoooM!!! xD I can’t be tamed!! RAWR!!
im a BIT of a history nerd *puts a hand on my hip, puts on my glasses, cracks open an encyclopedia* did you know obama is the president
anal sneezes are cute as shit
sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time
this is not what i want to be remembered for
